pat.riot's diary

2002-09-09T16:43:00.000-07:00

heyo people I've moved.....if you want further updates on my journal please go to http://www.deadjournal.com/users/venice_espresso
thanks

2002-09-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

Book Worm Meter for venice_espres

Shut In 49%

51% Out Of The House

Intellectual 95%

5% Moron

High Attention Span 59%

41% Low Attention Span

Bookitude 70%

30% Book Burner

Book Worm 68.25%

31.75% Bug Stomper

Take your bookworm readings.

2002-09-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

In me you can see that time of year
When a few yellow leaves or none at all hang
On the branches, shaking against the cold,
Bare ruins of church choirs where lately the sweet birds sang.
In me you can see only the dim light that remains
After the sun sets in the west,
Which is soon extinguished by black night
The image of death that envelops all in rest.
In me you can see the glowing embers
That lie upon the ashes remaining from the flame of my youth,
As on a death bed where it (youth) must finally die
Consumed by that which once fed it.
This you sense, and it makes your love more determined
To love more deeply that which you must give up before long.

2002-09-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

well...I took some quizzes today...

which francesca lia block girl are you?

2002-09-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

to echo what i've juz said...think i'll log off now...cya

2002-09-01T03:10:00.000-07:00

actually, I don't know what's got into me lately...I seem to be obsessed with this blogging thingy, and learning all that HTML codes and Java stuff...I know that it shouldn't be an addicted habit, well, I'll try not to go onto this thing so often...I'm neglecting my studies and rotting my time away...
havent' done much today, I did my DT folio, and then left it half (or one quarter) done and then went on to my art, and then threw it aside after I layered two coloured papers out of a magazine...
think it's the aftershock of sleeping too late last night....well...muz try to place my concentration on my studies and NOTHING ELSE!!

I MUST STOP THINKING ABT OTHER THINGS AND CONCENTRATE ON STUDYING!!!

BEAT PROCRASTINATION E GREAT ENEMY!!

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU' CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!

Are you a freak? find out at quizlets.tk! by krysten

2002-08-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

found this in one of the weblogs...wanna dedicate it to my Head Prefect for year 2002, Venetia Tan Weiser.

A Tribune to You

"I search for answers that I wonder if I'll ever find
Running circles in the mazes deep inside my mind
You always take me to a higher level
Show something that's deep inside
You show me things I never knew
You push me you pull me
You set my soul on fire
You take me so much higher
Thank you for it all"

Thank you for counselling me that time when I felt really upset over you-know-who...well, no one can beat your passion for PB. All the best for your 'O's and I'll be praying for you. Although I don't really know you very well/talk to you and vice versa, I feel that you're one of the true diamonds that PL has polished. You may not know it, but you've taught me things I never knew...you ignited my passion for the PB. Thank You.

2002-08-31T00:19:00.000-07:00

really beat after the Teachers' Day concert....but I'm glad things turned out the way they did. God really does wonders. Personally, I feel that I've really learnt the lesson of "serving" in the committee. I used to equate leadership with lordship, but now I think otherwise. I've tried to put personal agenda last and put the committee and the programme before anything, and I'm quite happy, so as to say, that the MRL/Logistics part of the programme turned out pretty well. I take pride in the fact that AT LEAST I helped in certain areas, although I'm unable to control the sound system 'cos I don't even know how to use it in the first place! PRAISE GOD! There were no faulty mikes/technical errors...everything went smoothly...I guess the MRL girls should take the credits for all these...they were really professional and alert all the times...esp. the seniors. I propose a toast to them! Yup...this has indeed been a meaningful and fruitful learning experience for me...everyone performing different roles and doing all that they can to pull the programme off with a BANG!

PL...PB...RULEZ

2002-08-31T00:12:00.000-07:00

Inspiration for this poem struck me when I saw a TV advert with a guy running on a track and sweating "cats and dogs"...aniwae, enjoy, and I hope this might be of certain inspiration and encouragement to you all. =)

His Ultimatium!?

This is the day
He saw at bay
The time to be crowned
in praise and glory abound

Endless months of torture
sit-ups, push-ups,
r u n n i n g and r u n n i n g
daily rituals.

A gun sounded in mid-air
He took off, hungry for a golden lair
Adrenaline rioting in his bloodstream
like his footsteps pounding on the track

Alas!

He Slips and Falls
"all lost" whispers around him so tall
Balled fists uncurl
Things go into whirls
he was numb with anguish
thought that golden swirls of dream
were about to extinguish

Suddenly
Fists clenched tight
He jolted with might
got to his feet and started r u n n i n g
Daily Rituals.

I"LL NEVER GIVE UP
NEVER GIVE UP.
NEVER.

wellz....feeling rather bored and lazy...I'm just surfing around and happened to chance upon some of my friends' online journals. Find that they are not actually what they seem....many seem to really speak their minds Only in their journals...well...maybe it's due to the fact that the vast internet gives you security that your identity won't be divulged that easily? I don't know, but I guess that's the main reason why. Talk about myself...I do that too....don't I ?

2002-08-25T02:35:00.000-07:00

POWER

the gain of it
brings glory
brings joy
brings benefit

the loss of it
brings excruciating pain
disappointment, hurt
brings disbelief

God's plans are not ours
He chose weak things to shame the storng
the Proud fall off their pedestal
the humble are Exalted

committee.exclusive.
fighting, backstabbing
Betrayal...
hurt.

why bother with it all?
heck...don't wanna give a damn anymore 'bout that
Just like to do my best in everything
please God in every blink
to help others, family, myself.

Have a good rest, why not?
God I lay my life for you
that's all I wanna do
'cos you bring out the best in me
like no one else can do
so I wanna give it all to you.

I have a Master to Serve.

2002-08-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Nature Allure

dawn, the giant horizon dances
thy golden beams breaking to morn
awakening birds, chirping sweetly in their nests
kissing, filling the sunflowers with zest
earth is brought to life once again
by grandpa Sun's rejuvenation manes

so often do I wonder why
and this I sit and sigh
why art thee unable to
lap in Mother Nautre's allure
or sing a song or two
watch things work in all that galore
wonders, yet
without any mechanisms too

so often have I not
peeked into the sparrows' cots
stared at sugar canes growing in amaze
wondered how lepards speed with all that craze
and pondered over
Nature's Allure

after a shower (of blessings)
refreshed, replenished, the plants and flowers.
a professional palette does our Creator flaunt
streaking tranquils with seven bright colours
the gold behind it, my friend, is actually
Nature's Allure
ah, how wonderful
this world can be!

the fireball hath done its job for the day
it steps down, sleeping by the bay
stillness seeps in ,darkness shrouds
still, not to worry, not to grouch
granny moon and her dreary jewels
sing you a lullaby, off to sleep.

~vEnIcE eSprEssO|~

2002-08-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

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2002-07-02T02:10:00.000-07:00

Re-elections was....don't talk about it

2002-07-02T02:08:00.000-07:00

If you mean to please everybody you will
Set to work both ignorance and skill.
For a great multitude are ignorant,
And skill to them seems raving and rant
Like putting oil and water in a lamp,
'Twill make a great splutter with smoke and damp.
For there is no use as it seems to me
Of lighting a lamp, when you don't wish to see

If thought is life
And strength and breath
And the want
of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly
If I live
Or if I die

2002-06-29T05:24:00.000-07:00

This really nice poem below is written by my friend, Kristy Gammell, yeah...and hope you enjoy it. I haven't really asked for her permission to publish it (talk about copyright laws), but I'm sure she would want to share it with you too.

A Prayer from a Broken Spirit (now mended)

Something's hanging over me
don't know what it is
uncanny dishonesty? overall lies?
my heart's not at peace.

There's a battle raging on
deep inside of me
whatever it is, I'm not winning
I'm losing rapidly

Like a weight of a thousand worlds
pulling on my heart
it's suffocating, killin me
tearing me apart

Jesus help me, I confess
now my life is a total mess
take away the pain inside
help me Lord, to win the fight

Pull me up
back on my feet

Comfort me Jesus
don't let me go
Show me what's wrong
just let me know

I need you Jesus
I need to change
banish the shadows
begone the pain

give me the strength, Lord
to live day by day
lies have become a common thing
please take it away

I'm on thin ice Lord
and I dont know where to turn
lead me by the hand Lord
let the flame burn

I need you, Jesus
right here, right now
my endless torment, endless pain
surely it's more than you can allow

I brought this all upon myself
My life and wayy of sin
Send your spirit Jesus
melt my icy heart within

as I write, Jesus
you've shown me my wrong
Lies and trickery
my fault all along

It broke your heart, Lord
to see me that way
you waited for me
but I didn't change.

So I need you, Jesus
to change my life now
I'm ready and willing
please show me how.

I'm afraid of the truth, Lord
give me the strength
to tell it onto loud, Lord
and clear the predicament

throughout all that will happen
you'll be with me
give me a new heart
help me to see

this is my prayer, Lord
for me to you
thank you for my gift of writing
help me tell the truth
this poem Lord
helped me to understand
how you wrote with my heart
from your loving child, Amen

nice pome...and I better log off now...hope I don't get too addicted to all this blogging that I neglect my studies...hope that will Never Ever happen in a gazillion years...

2002-06-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

counsellor's re-elections are coming next week...don't really have much confidence in myself...

You see, junior counsellors are actually on probation in their first year, and then they go through this series of re-elections to determine if they can go into the second year of duty...

yeah...and I dunno about meself..

Ok, I've done my duty...going around confiscating belts...safety pins...reminding students to put on their nametags and badges...shushing students quiet in the hall during assemblys....

Got this feeling that many are starting (or have already have) to hate me; everyone says that I'm rather fierce and stern and stuffz...but I'm just doing my duty

I don't know whether I would be voted out or not, but I've just decided to leave everything in God's hands. I remember reading something like this in my friend's email: "sometimes, God's ways are not our ways, we do not understand His plans for us; acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight"...no matter if the students choose by likes or by respect...there's nothing I can or plan to do anyway...

If I get re-elected, I would continue to service the sch...but if I don't...I think I would just place more focus on my academic studies and community. I'll be rather sad if I don't...anyway, I'll just pray hard and hope for the best. (anyway, why am I worrying so much about this?)

Ok,God Bless till we meet again

VÈnÏć¨º-3¡ìþRÊ¡ì¡ìô

2002-06-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

A Series of Haikus

I still remember
Our innocence fresh from young
stolen all by --------YOU

Transformed us youngsters
emerging beasts within that
masks sheathe'd, exposing?

overcrazed spirits
lucky ones smile, phony?
shams mutate pure soul

the Unwelcome sits
amidst, solemn, in deep thoughts
never gets the best

To him, beautiful...
oh boy, they never come near
reaching stars...hopeless!

God sees my torment
Rain send showers of blessings
cleanse my soul afresh

God loveth us so much
sent meteor rains after storms
The world ain't that bad

Take one step by each
Holding the Lord's loving hand
Day by day, we grow

That's how we all glow
Look for rainbows in the skys
looming midst obscures

Keep peace with your soul
Drudgery and broken dreams
Beautiful world, still =)

-----VÈnÏć¨º-3¡ìþRÊ¡ì¡ìô-----

comments

2002-06-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

hey everyone, found some really good poems and wanna share with all out there

Night
The sun descending in the west,
the evening star does shine;
The birds are silent in their nest,
And I must seek for mine.
The moon, like a flower,
in heaven's high bower,
with silent delight
Sits and smiles on the night

[To]
O! Why was I born with a different face?
Why was I not born like the rest of my race?
When I loo, each one starts; when I speak, I offned
Then I'm silent and passive, and lose every friend.

Then my verse I dishonour, my pictures despise,
My person degrade, nad my temper chastise;
And the pen is my terror, the pencil my shame;
All my talents I bury, and the dead is my fame.

I am either too low, or too highly priz'd;
When elate I'm envied; when meek I'm despised

2002-06-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, I better start right at the beginning (again). I had tediously typed out the whole of my first introduction and there was something wrong with the publishing of the blog and "kaboom", there it went into nowhere. Nevertheless, one should not give up when faced with obstacles, but we must try to look for the rainbow in the overcast sky...(ok, I'm sarcastic because I'm angry and irritated) So, here goes:

I'm a teenager, fourteen years old, and currently studying in high school. I'm a student counsellor, and our job is to help plan school events; maintain discipline etc...something like prefects and councillors. The seniors are very nice, they really go all out to show us the ropes; I enjoy my most of my work as it is rather fun, but I do not really relish the discipline part. You need to be firm when dealing with nasty people and you make enemies. I'll tell you more about this later.

Next, I have four loving family members. My elder sister's my mentor cum buddy cum best friend cum tuition teacher cum anythingelsethatisrelevant...ok, as you can see, she's the best! My younger sister can be quite a rascal sometimes, but she's certainly taught me important lessons such as Tolerance, Patience...(and the list goes on) It's just a pity that I only realise the importance but do not really have these values drilled into me...as the saying "a leopard can't change it's spots", they don't seem to get into my head after so many incidents of trouble. Anyway, my parents are, needless to say, very good! They feed and clothe me...provide everything for me, and not to forget instill discipline into me. That's the most important, I might say.

Ok, enough of my introduction, till we meet again, good bye and God Bless!

2002-06-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

he who binds himself to a joy
does the winged life destroy
but he who kisses the joy as it flies
lives in the eternity's sunrise

--William Blake--